The world lost a wonderful, caring women this past week. Paula Clayville lost her 18 month battle with cancer. Even though the cancer ravaged her body, Paula kept her wonderful smile until the very end.
Paula was one of my mom's best friends, and a great influence in our family (and to everyone else who knew her). She just had a way of making everything right and good.
I know that Paula is now free of the pain she suffered, but my heartaches for those left behind:
- I pray for Rod and the rest of the family that they may be comforted during this difficult time. They are a strong family, and though it will be tough for a while, I know they will pull through this trial (they are such great people, yesterday at the funeral they were comforting me rather than me comforting them).
- I pray for my parents who have lost a close personal friend. My mother confided in me that whenever she was giving service to Paula (whether it was cleaning her house, helping her with daily cares, or just visiting with her), those were the only times when my mom was free from the knee pain she has been suffering from. I know Mom was doing what the Lord wanted her to do, so in return he was giving her the strength and relief she needed.
- I especially pray for my good friend Kristin who lost her Mother. To lose such an important role model is beyond my comprehension. It brings me to tears just thinking about not having a mother around to give advice, play with the grand kids, or to hold and comfort during times of need. I know Kristin is a much stronger person than I am, but I am also not blind to the fact that she will still mourn and ache for those lost moments. Kristin, I love you and know the Lord will be with you during those moments.
I often wonder why the Lord allows such awful things to happen to such wonderful people. I don't always understand God's plan for us, but I just have to put my faith in him because he knows the full picture. He allows these trials in ours lives to put us through the refiner's fire, to strengthen us to become better people.
To quote Elder Ronald A. Rasband of the Presidency of the Seventy,
"Our personal journey through life provides us with many special experiences that become building blocks of faith and testimony. These experiences come to us in vastly different ways and at unpredictable times. They can be powerful spiritual events or small enlightening moments. Some experiences will come as serious challenges and heavy trials that test our ability to cope with them. No matter what the experience may be, each gives us a chance for personal growth, greater wisdom, and in many cases, service to others with more empathy and love. As the Lord stated to the Prophet Joseph Smith in a reassuring way during one of his most significant trials at Liberty Jail, "All these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good" (D&C 122:7). As experiences accumulate in our lives, they add strength and support to each other. Just as the building blocks of our homes support the rest of the structure, so too do our personal life experiences become building blocks for our testimonies and add to our faith in the Lord Jesus Christ." It is life changing events like this that bring everything into prospective. It reiterates how important my family is, and how much I take for granted that they will always be here with me. I am trying my hardest not to take the small precious things in life for granted. Over the past week, I have tried to hug my family more, talked and played with my kids more, said I love you more, and appreciated life's experiences and yes even trials more.
As I have said before, I don't understand why God chose Paula and her family to have this trial in their life, but I am comforted in knowing that Paula is having a glorious reunion with loved ones that have already passed on. I know that our Heavenly Father will not leave us during our times of need. I am grateful that I know our purpose in life, and that I have Jesus Christ by my side, never to leave me stranded. It is this knowledge, and the love of the Lord that will buoy us up during our times of need.
We love you Paula- You will be greatly missed!!!!!!